Where are my posts you may ask? They have been in my heart ❤. Trying to think just what I should say. Words can be easily written on paper. Anyone can be a writer. Sad to say I am not. I'm just me.. I am not perfect.. I'll never be close to perfect I have flaws. I'm overweight, getting older, I dont bake cookies mucj anymore. Store cookies at the moment. Lately I've treated the kids to pizza, McDonald's and icecream a few times to many. I allowed them to stay up a little later. The living became our toy room. On the outside of the fridge is full of artwork from our children. Watching them daily as they learn so many new things. Little minds of innocent and wonders. Some days I wonder if they knew how imperfect I am. To them I provide their needs daily and include cuddling. Holding them tightly. If only I could hold them forever. Shelter them from all harm. Knowing one day their little wings will grow and fly. Our first trip I did not blog. I need to share photos. These precious cherished treasures of meeting our children.. We started off in the intend to adopt a boy name "Clyde". Not God's plan. Through this adoption something told me he had other plans. The children we prior chosen were not the children for our family.
During a visit with Barbara I saw thus boy. A boy with the largest most safest eyes I ever came to meet. He looked up uncertain of future. Daily he told staff members his mother was coming for him. Daily he waited and waited. He had days of anger, confusion and uncertainties. But he knew his mom was coming so he waited. Waited years, and as they passed he had surgeries where he almost died. But he waited and never gave up.
As walking diwn the hall I saw his photo. Then as I turned to walk away I had to turm back. My heart stopped. I knew inside he was our son, my son. The same feeling when I gave birth to my own sons. I asked our translator to meet him. I was told not this boy. I was given his life history, his medicals and so on.
As he walked in the room to meet Gary and me I wanted to cry. My son, my son. We were supposed to meet another young boy. And this boy also needed a home. Healthier etc.. But inside I knew this now was not our son, my son. I felt a love for a child I barely knew. I didn't go into medical details or his history. This boy, this young child mother came for him. His wait is over. As he sat infront of us nervous and not knowing why. The rough edge soften. The smile came out. There were giggles and as I left that day tears. Many, many tears.
Day Two caregivers, directors commented his change. The days pass, his hand holding mine and also my heart ❤. I know now no matter what these two will come home.
The day we left their city, last visit I begged God for these two children to be part if our family. I ask our Lord no matter what it takes I will do. Whatever our Lord makes me do to make it happen I will do.
On the flight home God was answering my prayers. But also he had a plan I did not expect. At this moment I have infront if me a mountain of mountains. Many times in adoption families say it takes faitj to move mountains. This mountain .I am seeing infront of me one I am on my knees staring at. Some people may turn around. Lose Faith, yell Damn why now? Ask what did I do to fight another major obstacles. Life is full of obstacles.
During a visit with Barbara I saw thus boy. A boy with the largest most safest eyes I ever came to meet. He looked up uncertain of future. Daily he told staff members his mother was coming for him. Daily he waited and waited. He had days of anger, confusion and uncertainties. But he knew his mom was coming so he waited. Waited years, and as they passed he had surgeries where he almost died. But he waited and never gave up.
As walking diwn the hall I saw his photo. Then as I turned to walk away I had to turm back. My heart stopped. I knew inside he was our son, my son. The same feeling when I gave birth to my own sons. I asked our translator to meet him. I was told not this boy. I was given his life history, his medicals and so on.
As he walked in the room to meet Gary and me I wanted to cry. My son, my son. We were supposed to meet another young boy. And this boy also needed a home. Healthier etc.. But inside I knew this now was not our son, my son. I felt a love for a child I barely knew. I didn't go into medical details or his history. This boy, this young child mother came for him. His wait is over. As he sat infront of us nervous and not knowing why. The rough edge soften. The smile came out. There were giggles and as I left that day tears. Many, many tears.
Day Two caregivers, directors commented his change. The days pass, his hand holding mine and also my heart ❤. I know now no matter what these two will come home.
The day we left their city, last visit I begged God for these two children to be part if our family. I ask our Lord no matter what it takes I will do. Whatever our Lord makes me do to make it happen I will do.
On the flight home God was answering my prayers. But also he had a plan I did not expect. At this moment I have infront if me a mountain of mountains. Many times in adoption families say it takes faitj to move mountains. This mountain .I am seeing infront of me one I am on my knees staring at. Some people may turn around. Lose Faith, yell Damn why now? Ask what did I do to fight another major obstacles. Life is full of obstacles.
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